Why must they hate us? We only want to be ourselves To exist honestly To show who we are We choose our names We tell people what to call us Yet they refuse They insist that they know better But they don't How can anyone know us better than ourselves? Why must we be afraid To introduce ourselves To wear the clothes we want To have the bodies that make us comfortable That's all we want To exist To be who we are Why is that so much? Why?
I sculpted this mask Carved and decorated it Slaved over every detail Then I wore it around other people And they all loved me
I was always hopeful Happy and kind Lighting up everyone's lives That's who I am But not all the time
The real me cries and cowers needs love and affection gets worked up, talks too fast, slips up Most of all She's not perfect
That's the real me I'm tired of meeting their expectations I don't want to wear this mask anymore I only want to be me
I will listen to all of your problems offer support the best I can but you must understand that there will be a point at which I reach my limits and I must take care of myself
It is possible to care for you while caring for me and I will find that balance so long as you are fighting your fight too I will not be the only soldier in your army
I will follow you as long as you lead I will help you without doing it for you I will love you while loving myself
I care too much
Obsessed with the idea that everyone should be happy I toss my own feelings aside
Even when I try To say “This is how I feel” It's so easy for my words to be lost in the waves of other's feelings
When I try I fail So how can I ever learn to succeed?
I need to listen to my body to her needs I need to honor my boundaries I need to remember it's okay to struggle now so I can be better later
I care about everyone else It's time to start caring about me
I don't control how anyone else FEELS I don't control what anyone else DOES
They can choose how they feel about me They can choose how they want to treat me
My actions might HURT them might UPSET them might ANGER them but that wasn't my intent I did what I thought was right for me
I control me Only me Their feelings good or bad are theirs They are not my responsibility
I am responsible only for me
I'm not alone Not at all There are so MANY people Friends Loved ones Who are there for me if I need them I only need to ask
it's only me walking My journey is only about me I am important So I will take time to care about only me
There will be time to help others later in my journey There will be time for their problems when I am ready
Until then I will reserve my strength to make sure that I have what I need to care for me
Life became a mess With so little warning Tearing me away from the safety I thought I knew
What now?
What now?
I don't know
But I can worry about it Tomorrow
For today
Pause
No more worries No terror or anxiety No heartbreak or pain Let it all stay at the door
And simply be
Enjoy this moment Fear not the rest of life Put it on pause And I'll simply be
For so long I fell into step Like a soldier Marching to a drum
Desperate for acceptance I chased my warped idea Of “belonging” Twisting and changing Caring so much about what everyone else wanted But what about me?
I want to paint my nails to wear a skirt and soft sweater I want to stare up at the sky and daydream about magic
I care what you want But I can't force you to accept me Instead I'll do what I love Because in the end I love ME
I am here I am visible I will be seen Speaking out is scary can get me hurt ostracized abandoned But this is who I am and I will be me I will not be silent No matter how loud I have to be I will let the world know that I EXIST
I have a pair of magical socks They might look ordinary to others But to me, they are most extraordinary They helped me open my eyes
They showed me who I really am
Their rainbows lit up my way The moment I slipped them on And from that moment I have refused to go back
I love who I am I will never hide myself again My eyes are open, never to be closed All thanks to my magical socks