Sometimes my brain is confusion and chaos A balloon of noise about to go POP
I need to ease the pressure I know how I just need to let it all out
Please be patient Please be kind I'm dumping out my brain with you because I trust you
Because I need to let it all out
My head is a mess Full of thoughts I can't convey Words images Half incomplete sentences All running together like paint To form a blurred idea
But my thoughts are IMPORTANT
Just like me
So I need you To be patient And wait while I make sense of the beautiful chaos That is me
My pain is not funny I am not a toy for your amusement
You can say over and over again that it's only a joke
But I am not laughing
I'm crying SCREAMING and that is not funny
Please stop taking my things Please stop moving them Please stay out of my personal space Please leave me alone
Those are boundaries and ignoring them might make you laugh but it tears me apart
Please respect my boundaries Please stop actively causing me pain Because my pain hurts And it is not funny
An endless struggle to love myself and who I am without finding someone else to do it for me
I will remember all the good things about me what I love about myself be it the way I think, dress, or love I will find what I love about me
Because I love me With all my heart Even when I'm drowning in insecurities I still love me
sharing my light has always been easy carrying others smiling and supporting crafting just the right words to brighten their hard days
i give and i give and never ask for anything at all they take and take never offering anything
when i have nothing left i explode burst into a fireball of anxiety and pain hurting everyone close to me
why why do i do this? i get so lost in the joy of helping that i forget the most important thing
I have to help ME I deserve love too
The ones who are there for EVERYONE are the ones most likely to forget
that the person who needs their love the most is THEM
There are no actions you can take no choices you can make no words you can say no games you can play
That will invalidate how you feel
Even if you think you blew it I won't give up, we can work through it Give me time, give me space Then let us talk face to face
And I will listen to how you feel
Your feelings are valid and important I know how easy it is to forget it I hope in time you come to see How special you are to me
I care about you and how you feel
When I began I was terrified The path was unknown
What if everyone rejects me? What if I end up all alone? What if this is all in my head? What if I'm wrong?
Every step was scary Every step revealed a new challenge Companions vanished Replaced by new ones Instability was the only constant
One step at a time I've made it this far I'm not carefully treading now I'm running Thrilled to see what lies ahead
This is what I want This is who I am
I gazed into the mirror And realized one day That my inside and outside Looked nothing alike
I've chipped away at it Piece by piece As if assembling a puzzle Of who I really am
I've assembled the puzzle To reveal my inside on the outside And with each piece, I see me More clearly than before
Now I can see my style And my heart is shining with joy Because I love who I am Inside and outside
Need help navigating the site? I got you covered.