I care too much
Obsessed with the idea that everyone should be happy I toss my own feelings aside
Even when I try To say “This is how I feel” It's so easy for my words to be lost in the waves of other's feelings
When I try I fail So how can I ever learn to succeed?
I need to listen to my body to her needs I need to honor my boundaries I need to remember it's okay to struggle now so I can be better later
I care about everyone else It's time to start caring about me
For so long I fell into step Like a soldier Marching to a drum
Desperate for acceptance I chased my warped idea Of “belonging” Twisting and changing Caring so much about what everyone else wanted But what about me?
I want to paint my nails to wear a skirt and soft sweater I want to stare up at the sky and daydream about magic
I care what you want But I can't force you to accept me Instead I'll do what I love Because in the end I love ME
I am here I am visible I will be seen Speaking out is scary can get me hurt ostracized abandoned But this is who I am and I will be me I will not be silent No matter how loud I have to be I will let the world know that I EXIST
With your trauma you devoured my love With your narrative you silenced my voice With your self-hate you killed my self-love
So
With my will I cut you out With my words I revive my self-love With my wings I fly away free
Because my light is stronger than your darkness
I always try to be the person that everyone else wants
Even when that person clashes with who I am
I want to be the person that makes ME happy
I need to find the people who want that too
Then the person they want me to be and I want me to be
will be the same person
It's astounding what a difference small changes can make reshaping my entire outlook on the rest of life
A new hairstyle only a little different from the last and suddenly my face looks more right than before
A new voice tweaked here and there and suddenly I hear a brand new me
Small things to anyone else but they mean the world to me as I get closer and closer to who I'm meant to be
An endless struggle to love myself and who I am without finding someone else to do it for me
I will remember all the good things about me what I love about myself be it the way I think, dress, or love I will find what I love about me
Because I love me With all my heart Even when I'm drowning in insecurities I still love me
I gazed into the mirror And realized one day That my inside and outside Looked nothing alike
I've chipped away at it Piece by piece As if assembling a puzzle Of who I really am
I've assembled the puzzle To reveal my inside on the outside And with each piece, I see me More clearly than before
Now I can see my style And my heart is shining with joy Because I love who I am Inside and outside
Love It came and went but the love I have for me will never fade
It may never be easy to share who you really are Will it feel good to open up? Or will it only create a new scar?