It has taken
years
and years
and years
To see myself
As more than my mistakes
To love myself
Despite the times
I didn't think
I didn't know
I didn't understand
If that is all YOU see
If you cannot accept
That I am NOT perfect
Then all YOU are doing
is holding ME back
It's okay to simply exist
no matter what anyone else insists.
I am valid, I am fine
It's my time to spend, mine
So I'll spend it resting if I choose
After all, I've got nothing to lose
by ignoring the grind outside
And right now, I'd rather be resting inside
I'll take my time until I'm ready to say
“Okay. Now it's time to take on the day.”
I will listen
to all of your problems
offer support the best I can
but you must understand
that there will be a point
at which I reach my limits
and I must take care of myself
It is possible
to care for you while caring for me
and I will find that balance
so long as you are fighting your fight too
I will not be the only soldier in your army
I will follow you as long as you lead
I will help you without doing it for you
I will love you while loving myself
For so long
I fell into step
Like a soldier
Marching to a drum
Desperate for acceptance
I chased my warped idea
Of “belonging”
Twisting and changing
Caring so much about
what everyone else wanted
But what
about
me?
I want to paint my nails
to wear a skirt and soft sweater
I want to stare up at the sky
and daydream about magic
I care what you want
But I can't force you to accept me
Instead
I'll do what I love
Because in the end
I love ME