A warm hug A hand to hold A bright smile A soul full of love
These were foreign to me Trapped in other people's worlds So I pursued them At the cost of myself
But the truth is I have those things too And I will always be with me So I can be my own affection
I got my nails done They're bright and sparkly now And it makes me happy So that's what I did
I got my hair dyed Now it's colorful And growing just how I want it So that's what I did
I shaved my legs Now they're soft and smooth And it brings a smile to my face So that's what I did
No more doing what other people want for the sake of pleasing them I'm doing what I want
Yes That's what I'll do
I don't need you to tell me I'm pretty I know I am But it helps to hear it
I don't need you to tell me you love me I already love me But more love can't hurt
I don't need you to tell me I'm a girl I already am one But sometimes it's hard
I don't need validation I'm learning how to validate myself Even though it's tough But I'm going to keep trying
Because I know that
I am a lovely, pretty girl
I've been abused tricked betrayed abandoned ostracized hurt
This is how trauma is made No matter what anyone else says
I have trauma
I don't ask for pity or admiration I'm already taking care of myself
For you see Despite my trauma
I am still beautiful I am still worthy I am still enough I am still sparkling
I need words Full of love and praise
I need time To laugh To cry To talk To be heard
I need affection The warm touch Of one I love
These are my needs It's valid to express them And they are important
When I reach the end of a long day I can lay down and rest
I don't need to earn it I only need to be tired to allow myself to rest
I don't need to push myself beyond my limits I can simply lay my head down and rest
I won't forget that I always need my rest
My body was made producing the wrong chemicals poisoning the person I am
This isn't a choice The choice was to put the correct chemicals in my body to make me the person I am
There's nothing wrong I'm just different I am beautiful I can see that now I can love the person I am
Even if I change myself exaggerating or muting parts to be accepted I have no guarantee that people won't reject me anyway
So why not be
me?
I will spend my whole life with myself so it's more important that I love me than if other people love me
I'll be myself always and learn to love all of me If I've got to spend my whole life with someone I think it's best if I love her
This is a boundary No, I won't explain it It exists because of trauma Severe pain inflicted time and time again
This is a want No, I won't explain it It exists because of me I've listened and learned time and time again
This is a need No, I won't explain it It exists because of life Years lived Feelings hurt time and time again
Sometimes, they may shift Moving as I reassess them They're mine to have You are not involved in making them So you do not need to understand
You need to respect them Because if you can't respect my boundaries my wants my needs Then I can't be around you
I am hurting Even if you can't understand why Just let me be sad That's all I need from you To let me feel How I'm going to feel
Don't tell me about how other people have it worse than me Don't lecture me about being proper or using my manners I have these feelings Let me feel them
Let me cry