One Year Ago

I found myself at my lowest point Barely keeping my head above water My brain screaming to give up But I held my head up long enough to take out my tools and fix it

It’s easy to focus on all the negatives on the misery on everything that’s missing

I don’t feel beautiful today I can barely get up and move Why bother pretending anymore? What am I trying to prove?

When an old toy breaks Even one I haven’t seen in years it feels like a part of me broke along with it

Dear Friend,

I know tonight you can’t keep it together I can hear you reciting reasons to carry on

Take a moment and tell yourself that you are enough that you love yourself

Dread rakes its claws through my brain Sowing the seeds of doubt Spreading terror through my mind reminding me that I don’t deserve this

Why can’t everyone see how broken I am inside? How terrible I am? The monster behind my eyes

My world is falling apart Crashing down around me as life throws one blow after another at me

Sinking, struggling Trying to stay afloat I want so badly to close my eyes let it all go dark and give up