I've been abused tricked betrayed abandoned ostracized hurt
This is how trauma is made No matter what anyone else says
I have trauma
I don't ask for pity or admiration I'm already taking care of myself
For you see Despite my trauma
I am still beautiful I am still worthy I am still enough I am still sparkling
Have you ever looked at the stars in the sky and wondered what's up there moving and zooming about?
Have you ever looked at the knots on a tree and wondered if creatures could be nestled among them?
Have you ever looked at the blades of grass in a field and wondered what civilizations could be calling them home?
Have you ever looked into what we call reality and dared to dream of what could be?
I need words Full of love and praise
I need time To laugh To cry To talk To be heard
I need affection The warm touch Of one I love
These are my needs It's valid to express them And they are important
Little mousegirl Alone in a big world searching for someone to hold
Scared mousegirl Monsters all around never knowing who to trust
Sad mousegirl Hurt by the monsters She's curled up crying her tears
Lonely mousegirl Cut off from the world kept locked up by her own fear
Kind mousegirl Always trusting no matter how many times she gets hurt
Happy mousegirl She found the good The warm, loving people with whom she belongs
When I reach the end of a long day I can lay down and rest
I don't need to earn it I only need to be tired to allow myself to rest
I don't need to push myself beyond my limits I can simply lay my head down and rest
I won't forget that I always need my rest
My body was made producing the wrong chemicals poisoning the person I am
This isn't a choice The choice was to put the correct chemicals in my body to make me the person I am
There's nothing wrong I'm just different I am beautiful I can see that now I can love the person I am
I was a broken toy Cast aside by so many people Whenever they'd pick me up, I'd smile and hope they'd accept me But they never did
Over time, I learned that I was no good to anyone No one wanted me I could only look forward to being thrown away
Then one day, you came along Picked me up and looked me over And said, “She's not broken, She just needs a little love.”
You took me home You cared for me and loved me And showed me that I wasn't broken That all those other people were wrong I did just need a little love
It might be a long time before I really believe it but we've got plenty of time So thank you for giving me A little love
Even if I change myself exaggerating or muting parts to be accepted I have no guarantee that people won't reject me anyway
So why not be
me?
I will spend my whole life with myself so it's more important that I love me than if other people love me
I'll be myself always and learn to love all of me If I've got to spend my whole life with someone I think it's best if I love her
When we met it was all so new But where I saw fear You saw hope
You said it'd be okay that no matter what, I was loved And I was glad
I have new friends Because you told me it was okay to accept them To let them help me
I got to know you I came to love you And for a time I got to have a best friend again
Now you're gone forever And all I've got left are my memories of you And the hope you gave me
I'll never forget you I'll use the lessons you taught me In your brief time in this world to help others like you
And in the end even though I cry every day I'm GLAD I met you and I wouldn't change it for the world
This is a boundary No, I won't explain it It exists because of trauma Severe pain inflicted time and time again
This is a want No, I won't explain it It exists because of me I've listened and learned time and time again
This is a need No, I won't explain it It exists because of life Years lived Feelings hurt time and time again
Sometimes, they may shift Moving as I reassess them They're mine to have You are not involved in making them So you do not need to understand
You need to respect them Because if you can't respect my boundaries my wants my needs Then I can't be around you